THE MISFIT FILES — CLASSIFIED CREATURE REPORTS
“Every great monster begins with a spark.” – Dr. Franken-Fur
Eleven days. Eight questionable creatures. Absolutely no adult supervision.
Dr. Franken-Fur
MISFIT FILE 001 · CHINESE CRESTED
- Official title: Doctor of Highly Questionable Science
- Occupation: Mad scientist, inventor, accidental creator of chaos
- Greatest achievement: Bringing a squeaky toy back to life.
- Fatal flaw: Easily distracted by the word walkies.
- Catchphrase: “IT’S ALIVE! … AND IT’S CHEWING MY SHOES!”
Frankenshiver
- Official title: The Lean, Green, Trembling Machine
- Occupation: Professional Abomination. Part-Time Nervous Wreck
- Greatest achievement: Survived his own reflection. Once. Barely
- Fatal flaw: Mirrors. Thunder. Sudden noises. His own shadow.
- Special Abilities: Uncontrollable trembling, defensive ankle attacks
- Threat level: EXTREMELY HIGH — When safely concealed beneath a blanket.
MISFIT FILE 002 · CHIHUAHUA
Gobshund
- Official title: The Elongated Menace
- Occupation: Chief Lab Saboteur, Unauthorized Excavation Specialist & Self-Appointed Lord of the Underworld.
- Greatest achievement: Single-pawedly caused the Great Laboratory Explosion of 003 by knocking over seventeen unstable serum vials while pursuing a sausage that wasn’t actually there.
- Fatal flaw: Possesses the attention span of a caffeinated squirrel and the digestive ambitions of a garbage disposal. Will abandon world domination for a suspicious smell under the refrigerator.
- Catchphrase: “I WILL BRING THIS WORLD TO ITS KNEES! … Is that a sausage?”
- Known Weaknesses: Sausages, suspicious holes, squeaky toys, and stairs. Especially stairs.
MISFIT FILE 003 · DACSHUND
Snoozer
- Official title: The Prince of Almost Darkness
- Occupation: Nocturnal menace. Limited availability
- Greatest achievement: Getting the doctor to install a ramp to the launch platform—and then carry him up it.
- Fatal flaw: Believes having wings entitles him to transportation
- Catchphrase: “I have landed. You may carry me.”
MISFIT FILE 004 · French Bulldog
Gourdie
- Official title: Gourdie
- Occupation: Misfit protector. Accidental demolition crew.
- Greatest achievement: Holding up the laboratory ceiling while everyone escaped.
- Fatal flaw: Cannot bear to think he has disappointed anyone.
- Catchphrase: “I’m helping. Sorry.”
Misfit File 005: Pug
Glitches
- Official title: THE CYBERNETIC SUPER MUTT
- Occupation: Chief Strategist. Unsolicited Engineering Critic. Principal Cause of the Doctor’s Coffee Consumption.
- Greatest achievement: Successfully calculated the perfect escape from Spires Claw Laboratory. Current whereabouts: Spires Claw Laboratory.
- Fatal flaw: Plans for every conceivable obstacle except the entirely new malfunction his circuitry is about to invent.
- Catchphrase: Nada Operado
MISFIT FILE 006· SuperMutt
Bougie
- Official title: Her Royal Fur-ociousness
- Occupation: Director of Pack Affairs and Personal Comfort
- Greatest achievement: Getting carried to an ambush she organized
- Fatal flaw: Her werewolf instincts make commitments her pampered Pomeranian body cannot honor
- Catchphrase: “I said hunt. I never said walk.”
MISFIT FILE 007· Pomeranian
Tuki aka Grimm
- Official title: Director of Unscheduled Improvements
- Occupation: Making things work against you
- Greatest achievement: Disabling every security device in the laboratory without leaving the treat cupboard locked.
- Fatal flaw: Afraid of water. Incapable of leaving a successful prank alone.
- Catchphrase: “Nothing is broken. Several things have been reassigned.”
MISFIT FILE 008· Tuki
“The laboratory is open for now. The Misfits are not contained.”
Each year in October the howls awaken from their slumber to cause havoc! This year Dr. Franken has a new crew of motley mayhem.